Man, do I hope John McAfee meets justice someday. But this idea seems about as likely as McAfee ever comporting himself with a shred of dignity -– don’t count on it.
I do know a couple of things about McAfee – don’t move in next to him and never, ever use his God-awful anti-virus computer software.
At least one poor soul learned the first lesson the hard way and I, like millions of other computer buyers, discovered the latter.
McAfee puts the “snake” in snake-oil salesman. Although, to give the cliché its due, he’s got plenty of “oil” and “salesman” to go along with his slimy exterior.
McAfee is the worst kind of scumbag -– arrogant, self-important and someone who believes his above-average IQ will allow him to dupe the masses for a lifetime. I’ve met people like him countless times, and their biggest mistake is they take for granted the idea that no one is smart enough to compete in their psychological chess game.
For the most part, con men like him are proven right, as they tend to have a gut-wrenching success rate, even though anyone with a half a brain can tell his shtick is as transparent as Scotch tape.
As if his doucheified approach to life weren’t enough, he’s also a murderer. But of course, how does this turn out for our villain? Most likely, with him washing the blood off his hands and cashing in by selling his fairytale to Hollywood.
Here’s a brief background on McAfee – the 67-year-old was a one-time Silicon Valley “prodigy” who once developed a product that evidently was ahead of its time back in the day. But, let me tell you, it has been behind the times ever since.
Even so, he made a boatload of cash, retired early and took his treasure chest to the tropical paradise of Belize. There, he fancied himself a techy-nerd-meets-Rambo-type who spent his days sleeping with ugly, barely-legal native women (“The uglier the woman, the better the sex,” those are HIS words people, not mine, see the link below), taking photos of himself shirtless while posing with firearms and thinking his oh-so-sophisticated, McAfeeian thoughts.
Then, he killed a guy. A former American contractor named Gregory Viant Faull also retired early and moved to Belize in search of retirement-life bliss. Unwittingly, his beach-front property neighbored McAfee.
Faull soon found out, to his displeasure, that McAfee had about 12 dogs protecting his property, and they barked all night and often ran free at all times. The dogs reportedly attacked several tourists and locals alike and, after Faull was bitten, he’d had enough.
He apparently tried reasonable routes to solve the problem, going to the authorities and registering a complaint at town council meetings and such. When nothing was done, Faull then made a critical mistake: He went to another council meeting and threatened to poison McAfee’s dogs if no action was taken.
Then, he made two more. One, he followed through on the threat. Worse, he had the lack of sense to then brag of his exploits at a dinner party hosted by friends. He returned home that night and was shot in the head by McAfee.
I state all this as fact, eschewing journalistic-savvy words like “allegedly,” because it is fact. Faull had no other enemies, there are no other suspects, McAfee was the only guy around who had the motive, shooting skill, ammo and cojones to kill the guy, and word likely got back to him that Faull admitted poisoning his dogs.
McAfee also acted like a guilty man. He immediately fled from the authorities, all the while spinning a bizarre Belizean-government conspiracy story to a few American media outlets. He managed to flee to Guatemala, and somehow found a way to get deported back to the United States.
Upon his return to the U.S., he wasted no time doing national and local interviews, hoping to sell his victimization to the masses and cash in on his murder. Naturally, there was no shortage of media outlets eager to give him a free vehicle of promotion by profiling this fascinating, worldly man and his fantastic tale.
McAfee has reportedly settled in Portland and, lo and behold, the rights to his story have been sold to Warner Bros., with a Wired Magazine writer agreeing to be a co-producer of McAfee’s life tale.
If you have an eating disorder, or simply need to make yourself vomit for any reason, feel free to check out some of the interview videos like the one linked below.
The barrage of sound bytes and print articles were predictably deceptive, sickening and hollow, but there was one nugget I found borderline fascinating. Toward the end of one story, a reporter asked McAfee if he actually used his own anti-virus product.
“No,” McAfee answered. “I take it off all my computers. It’s too slow.”
A couple of thoughts came to mind: 1) Amen to that and, 2) Why didn’t he say this before many PC manufacturers gave consumers the “gift” of having this product pre-installed on their computers? Guess he had better things to do.
Although his murder victim passed quickly –- Faull was assassinated at point-blank — the McAfee software inflicts a slow, painful death on the hard drives it attacks.
I learned this a few years back when a computer I bought, less than a year old, had what I thought I might be a serious virus issue. Every program seemed to work at a crawl or not at all, and I hired a computer expert to pinpoint the problem.
The tech, who works a day job as high-ranking computer guy at IBM, labored for three hours before identifying the issue. I didn’t have a virus, he concluded, I had something much worse – McAfee software.
One of the many freebies that came with the computer, my tech guy concluded the McAfee software was engulfing my programs like a barrel of molasses dumped over a snail race. It took him forever to remove it and, ultimately, he suggested a different anti-virus product that I have used since, and the computer has been essentially problem-free.
The problem with McAfee himself is much easier to identify but, unlike his inept computer product, he likely won’t be going away anytime soon.